Discrimination Update
Dec. 11th, 2002 10:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vervain13As some of you know, we are currently in the aftermath of a horrible incident which occurred at a family wedding reception a few weeks ago in Dallas. Rather than repeat the incident and the pain which goes with it, I would refer any interested parties to go back a few entries in my journal for the complete ongoing story. If at any point I don't seem to be making sense, please bear in mind that at the moment I am in a very delicate and fragile place emotionally.
Okay, here's the update.
We didn't hear from Don's dad about anything at all, wedding reception incident or otherwise, until right after Thanksgiving. A card arrived in the mail, addressed to both of us in his handwriting, with a note simply wishing a happy holiday written by his girlfriend and his name written in at the end by his own hand. Note: absolutely NO mention of what happened a few weeks earlier...again as though everything is normal and perfectly fine. Upon receiving this utterly inadequate communication from his father, Don decided to confront this blatant glossing over of a heinouss wrongdoing head on. He wrote to his father, addressing him as Mr. ____, outlining exactly what is wrong and that ignoring it doesn't make it right or make it go away either. He explained to his father that unless he(Don's father) takes responsibility for his wrongdoing AND makes amends, he has no place in our lives, that he(Don) is ashamed at this point to even call him his father. He sent the letter without even signing it.
That was about two weeks ago. Tonight, when I arrive home after a very tiring day at work, Don is on the phone with his sister(the one who's wedding it was) explaining to her the reasons why their father is in the wrong. Rather than contact Don, his father had the cowardice to call Don's sister and reveal the whole ugly mess to her. The point is...this isn't about her...or her wedding. It's about the fact that two people were blatantly discriminated against solely because they are a same sex couple who had the audacity to act like any other normal couple in a public setting. Sadly, she doesn't get that. She thinks that their father had the right motives in aquiescing to such expressed bigotry because "it was for the sake of making the wedding receptoin go more smoothly." BULLSHIT! Discrimination is NEVER okay...IN ANY SETTING, wedding reception or otherwise! Would she see things simililarly if this were about a Jewish couple? Or a couple of color? Or a physically challenged couple? Hell no! She would be mortified! And she would tell her father that he needs to get his act together and evolve...that this is the twenty-first century, NOT the 50's when women, people of color, and anyone else who didn't happen to be white, male, and heterosexual were mere property at best. But no, she instead calls on behalf of her brave, responsible, and mature father to talk to Don instead of directing her father to use his bravery, responsibilty, and maturity to work this out with Don using open and honest communication rather than hiding behind the hemline of one of his children.
This is all so sad. We are so exasperrated at this point. It appears that the breech between Don and his father(let alone us as a couple) won't be repaired any time soon...if ever. And Don's sister? She too has "fallen from grace" and will have to work hard to win back wkatever trust and respect were in place until now.
At least we have each other.
Okay, here's the update.
We didn't hear from Don's dad about anything at all, wedding reception incident or otherwise, until right after Thanksgiving. A card arrived in the mail, addressed to both of us in his handwriting, with a note simply wishing a happy holiday written by his girlfriend and his name written in at the end by his own hand. Note: absolutely NO mention of what happened a few weeks earlier...again as though everything is normal and perfectly fine. Upon receiving this utterly inadequate communication from his father, Don decided to confront this blatant glossing over of a heinouss wrongdoing head on. He wrote to his father, addressing him as Mr. ____, outlining exactly what is wrong and that ignoring it doesn't make it right or make it go away either. He explained to his father that unless he(Don's father) takes responsibility for his wrongdoing AND makes amends, he has no place in our lives, that he(Don) is ashamed at this point to even call him his father. He sent the letter without even signing it.
That was about two weeks ago. Tonight, when I arrive home after a very tiring day at work, Don is on the phone with his sister(the one who's wedding it was) explaining to her the reasons why their father is in the wrong. Rather than contact Don, his father had the cowardice to call Don's sister and reveal the whole ugly mess to her. The point is...this isn't about her...or her wedding. It's about the fact that two people were blatantly discriminated against solely because they are a same sex couple who had the audacity to act like any other normal couple in a public setting. Sadly, she doesn't get that. She thinks that their father had the right motives in aquiescing to such expressed bigotry because "it was for the sake of making the wedding receptoin go more smoothly." BULLSHIT! Discrimination is NEVER okay...IN ANY SETTING, wedding reception or otherwise! Would she see things simililarly if this were about a Jewish couple? Or a couple of color? Or a physically challenged couple? Hell no! She would be mortified! And she would tell her father that he needs to get his act together and evolve...that this is the twenty-first century, NOT the 50's when women, people of color, and anyone else who didn't happen to be white, male, and heterosexual were mere property at best. But no, she instead calls on behalf of her brave, responsible, and mature father to talk to Don instead of directing her father to use his bravery, responsibilty, and maturity to work this out with Don using open and honest communication rather than hiding behind the hemline of one of his children.
This is all so sad. We are so exasperrated at this point. It appears that the breech between Don and his father(let alone us as a couple) won't be repaired any time soon...if ever. And Don's sister? She too has "fallen from grace" and will have to work hard to win back wkatever trust and respect were in place until now.
At least we have each other.
