On Valentine's Day

[vervain13]

So yesterday, on the way to work, it finally occurred to me why Valentine's Day has never been my thing. Mind you, it is a fine occasion with definitively sweet, romantic elements...all things which I like. But reaching into the memories of many years gone by I realized that my experience with it growing up had been entirely heterosexist. And growing up gay, especially in the early years of childhood, it is difficult to understand and effectively communicate these things to anyone...including one's self. In discussing this with a friend at work, the memory of my first crush surfaced. I was seven years old and found myself hopelessly googly-eyed over a boy named Cliff. To this day I can still remember the outfit he wore which looked best on him: a red gingham, pearl-snapped cowboy shirt with brown corduroy pants and brown cowboy boots. I simply couldn't be around him enough. Then he moved away with his family and I was devastated. Being seven and gay, I had no one to talk to who could possibly understand. Then the following February Valentine's Day rolls around and all the kids at school are being encouraged by the teachers and parents to "be someone's Valentine." If it had been possible, I soooooooooo would have been Cliff's Valentine. But this was before the Stonewall riots and being a *gasp* homosexual...especially as a child...in the southwestern US at that time in history was decidedly not cool with the status quo. Who knows? Maybe the time will come when people, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, will be appreciated simply as people. Then Valentine's Day can be a lot more than it is now.