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vervain13After seeing how AOL labels some of its chat rooms as "Gay Lifestyle" and such, I sent the following email to them concerning this matter:
This a message regarding the quality of AOL's service. I thoroughly enjoy the many features AOL offers to its subscribers and use them regularly. The format is quite user friendly and the information data base is a real pleasure to work with. My only complaint is the use of the term, "lifestyle" with reference to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered members/people. It is disturbing to me that an entire class of people, whose sexual orientation is innate, is relegated to the status of merely inhabiting a "lifestyle." The following quote is from Betty Berzon, Ph. D. in her book, "Setting Them Straight," a book about dealing with homophobia: "First of all, being gay is not a lifestyle. A lifestyle is a pattern of conduct that develops in adulthood and is a product of one's interests and activities. There is an affluent lifestyle, a self-destructive lifestyle, an adventuresome lifestyle, a criminal lifestyle, a charitable lifestyle, an academic lifestyle, to name a few.
Being gay is not a pattern of conduct, it is a deeply rooted internal orientation that is present from the earliest time in a person's life, probably before birth. Being gay is not about what you do, it is about who you are.
There are many lifestyles among gay and lesbian people, just as there are many lifestyles among heterosexual people. Refer to my sexual identity or my sexual orientation, but do not trivialize my life by calling it a lifestyle. My life is about something much more profound than a 'style.' "
I hope this will help bring about greater understanding and respect for AOL's GLBT members as well as a genuine appreciation of differences and how to honor them. Thank you for your time and consideration.
This a message regarding the quality of AOL's service. I thoroughly enjoy the many features AOL offers to its subscribers and use them regularly. The format is quite user friendly and the information data base is a real pleasure to work with. My only complaint is the use of the term, "lifestyle" with reference to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered members/people. It is disturbing to me that an entire class of people, whose sexual orientation is innate, is relegated to the status of merely inhabiting a "lifestyle." The following quote is from Betty Berzon, Ph. D. in her book, "Setting Them Straight," a book about dealing with homophobia: "First of all, being gay is not a lifestyle. A lifestyle is a pattern of conduct that develops in adulthood and is a product of one's interests and activities. There is an affluent lifestyle, a self-destructive lifestyle, an adventuresome lifestyle, a criminal lifestyle, a charitable lifestyle, an academic lifestyle, to name a few.
Being gay is not a pattern of conduct, it is a deeply rooted internal orientation that is present from the earliest time in a person's life, probably before birth. Being gay is not about what you do, it is about who you are.
There are many lifestyles among gay and lesbian people, just as there are many lifestyles among heterosexual people. Refer to my sexual identity or my sexual orientation, but do not trivialize my life by calling it a lifestyle. My life is about something much more profound than a 'style.' "
I hope this will help bring about greater understanding and respect for AOL's GLBT members as well as a genuine appreciation of differences and how to honor them. Thank you for your time and consideration.
