In View of Recently Past Discrimination
Feb. 4th, 2003 09:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vervain13an interesting article...debating non-heterosexual marriages effects on marriage as a whole. It was in the London Free Press (Ontario, Canada) and by Lyn Cockburn.
"A man steps up to the water fountain and takes a drink. He is immediately pounced upon and beaten. His crime? DWB - drinking while black. Drinking from a fountain clearly marked, Whites Only. Did his action somehow taint the water? Did it lessen the pleasure of drinking for white folk? Did white water fountains disintegrate the minute the racial ban was lifted? Evidently not, since there are now no signs in the southern U.S. states, or in South Africa for that matter, that tell blacks to use different fountains from their white peers. No white person has died from drinking unsegregated water. And to my knowledge the quality of water in North America has not deteriorated...
Today, we'd laugh, if with a little embarrassment, at the suggestion lips belonging to people of colour could possibly taint water, could ruin its taste and quality for white people. But some of us are quite convinced that permitting gay people to marry will taint that institution for the rest of us, will impact upon its sanctity and wreak marital havoc. In fact, some of us are delighted the federal government plans to appeal the Ontario decision to permit gay marriages. Some of us want the whole thing to go away. Some of us believe marriage must remain a union between a man and a woman. Some of us are convinced letting gays drink from the fountain of marriage will taint it for straights. What rubbish. If anything will wreck marriage, it is the way straights carry on within its perimeters. Over the years, any number of us have cheated on our spouses, beaten our spouses, said hurtful things, treated our mates with condescention and cruelty. And zillions of us have gotten divorced - more and more each year. In fact a recent study shows that in Canada, more couples than ever are choosing to live together rather than tie the knot. Surely not a good advertisement for straight marriage. And anyone who thinks marriage has not changed over the years needs to be sentenced to being a bridesmaid wearing pink ruffles - at five weddings.
Marriage started out as nothing more than a business or political contract, the blending of two families - a blending in which neither mate, but especially the woman, had no say. In some cultures brides were so young the word pedophilia comes to mind. Marriage has evolved from a No-Fun-At-All activity into something a trifle more reasonable, something in which two people, if well suited, can create a life of happiness for themselves and their children. A little more evolution isn't going to hurt. My marriage, and yours, will not break up or become distasteful because Joe and Henry or Marlene and Sally get wed; it will break up because I or you refuse to work at it or treat our mates in an uncaring manner. Conversely, our marriages will not survive just because we're straight. And what's so great about straight? A few things. Not the least is society accepts us. We do not have to explain, excuse or deny. We can go about our daily sexual, marital and social business without anybody writing nasty letters to the editor about us. We do not have angry, disapproving representatives of various religious groups damning us to hell, nor do we get fired for being straight. We can have children or adopt without anybody getting weirded out about it. But that's it and nothing much. As a straight person, i feel privileged, not superior. The world's doors open more easily for me, but i am not morally above my gay friends. I am easily accepted, but not better. And as for marriage, it will not be gay people who wreck it. In fact, some of my gay friends who've been together well more than 10 years might give a much needed lesson to those of us who can't seem to stay married more than three. Straights continue to be quite capable of doing in matrimony on their own."
"A man steps up to the water fountain and takes a drink. He is immediately pounced upon and beaten. His crime? DWB - drinking while black. Drinking from a fountain clearly marked, Whites Only. Did his action somehow taint the water? Did it lessen the pleasure of drinking for white folk? Did white water fountains disintegrate the minute the racial ban was lifted? Evidently not, since there are now no signs in the southern U.S. states, or in South Africa for that matter, that tell blacks to use different fountains from their white peers. No white person has died from drinking unsegregated water. And to my knowledge the quality of water in North America has not deteriorated...
Today, we'd laugh, if with a little embarrassment, at the suggestion lips belonging to people of colour could possibly taint water, could ruin its taste and quality for white people. But some of us are quite convinced that permitting gay people to marry will taint that institution for the rest of us, will impact upon its sanctity and wreak marital havoc. In fact, some of us are delighted the federal government plans to appeal the Ontario decision to permit gay marriages. Some of us want the whole thing to go away. Some of us believe marriage must remain a union between a man and a woman. Some of us are convinced letting gays drink from the fountain of marriage will taint it for straights. What rubbish. If anything will wreck marriage, it is the way straights carry on within its perimeters. Over the years, any number of us have cheated on our spouses, beaten our spouses, said hurtful things, treated our mates with condescention and cruelty. And zillions of us have gotten divorced - more and more each year. In fact a recent study shows that in Canada, more couples than ever are choosing to live together rather than tie the knot. Surely not a good advertisement for straight marriage. And anyone who thinks marriage has not changed over the years needs to be sentenced to being a bridesmaid wearing pink ruffles - at five weddings.
Marriage started out as nothing more than a business or political contract, the blending of two families - a blending in which neither mate, but especially the woman, had no say. In some cultures brides were so young the word pedophilia comes to mind. Marriage has evolved from a No-Fun-At-All activity into something a trifle more reasonable, something in which two people, if well suited, can create a life of happiness for themselves and their children. A little more evolution isn't going to hurt. My marriage, and yours, will not break up or become distasteful because Joe and Henry or Marlene and Sally get wed; it will break up because I or you refuse to work at it or treat our mates in an uncaring manner. Conversely, our marriages will not survive just because we're straight. And what's so great about straight? A few things. Not the least is society accepts us. We do not have to explain, excuse or deny. We can go about our daily sexual, marital and social business without anybody writing nasty letters to the editor about us. We do not have angry, disapproving representatives of various religious groups damning us to hell, nor do we get fired for being straight. We can have children or adopt without anybody getting weirded out about it. But that's it and nothing much. As a straight person, i feel privileged, not superior. The world's doors open more easily for me, but i am not morally above my gay friends. I am easily accepted, but not better. And as for marriage, it will not be gay people who wreck it. In fact, some of my gay friends who've been together well more than 10 years might give a much needed lesson to those of us who can't seem to stay married more than three. Straights continue to be quite capable of doing in matrimony on their own."
