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Jan. 30th, 2003
After seeing how AOL labels some of its chat rooms as "Gay Lifestyle" and such, I sent the following email to them concerning this matter:
This a message regarding the quality of AOL's service. I thoroughly enjoy the many features AOL offers to its subscribers and use them regularly. The format is quite user friendly and the information data base is a real pleasure to work with. My only complaint is the use of the term, "lifestyle" with reference to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered members/people. It is disturbing to me that an entire class of people, whose sexual orientation is innate, is relegated to the status of merely inhabiting a "lifestyle." The following quote is from Betty Berzon, Ph. D. in her book, "Setting Them Straight," a book about dealing with homophobia: "First of all, being gay is not a lifestyle. A lifestyle is a pattern of conduct that develops in adulthood and is a product of one's interests and activities. There is an affluent lifestyle, a self-destructive lifestyle, an adventuresome lifestyle, a criminal lifestyle, a charitable lifestyle, an academic lifestyle, to name a few.
Being gay is not a pattern of conduct, it is a deeply rooted internal orientation that is present from the earliest time in a person's life, probably before birth. Being gay is not about what you do, it is about who you are.
There are many lifestyles among gay and lesbian people, just as there are many lifestyles among heterosexual people. Refer to my sexual identity or my sexual orientation, but do not trivialize my life by calling it a lifestyle. My life is about something much more profound than a 'style.' "
I hope this will help bring about greater understanding and respect for AOL's GLBT members as well as a genuine appreciation of differences and how to honor them. Thank you for your time and consideration.
This a message regarding the quality of AOL's service. I thoroughly enjoy the many features AOL offers to its subscribers and use them regularly. The format is quite user friendly and the information data base is a real pleasure to work with. My only complaint is the use of the term, "lifestyle" with reference to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered members/people. It is disturbing to me that an entire class of people, whose sexual orientation is innate, is relegated to the status of merely inhabiting a "lifestyle." The following quote is from Betty Berzon, Ph. D. in her book, "Setting Them Straight," a book about dealing with homophobia: "First of all, being gay is not a lifestyle. A lifestyle is a pattern of conduct that develops in adulthood and is a product of one's interests and activities. There is an affluent lifestyle, a self-destructive lifestyle, an adventuresome lifestyle, a criminal lifestyle, a charitable lifestyle, an academic lifestyle, to name a few.
Being gay is not a pattern of conduct, it is a deeply rooted internal orientation that is present from the earliest time in a person's life, probably before birth. Being gay is not about what you do, it is about who you are.
There are many lifestyles among gay and lesbian people, just as there are many lifestyles among heterosexual people. Refer to my sexual identity or my sexual orientation, but do not trivialize my life by calling it a lifestyle. My life is about something much more profound than a 'style.' "
I hope this will help bring about greater understanding and respect for AOL's GLBT members as well as a genuine appreciation of differences and how to honor them. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Gay men and lesbians are discriminated against in housing and employment and because how we act is more important than who we are and if we get harassed it's our problem and if we get attacked we provoked it and if we raise our voices we're flaunting ourselves and if we enjoy sex we're perverts and if we have AIDS we deserve it and if we march with pride we're recruiting children and if we want or have children we're unfit parents and if we stand up for our rights we're overstepping our boundaries and because we are forced constantly to question our own worth as human beings and if we don't have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex we haven't given it a chance and if we have a relationship with someone of the same sex it is not recognized and we are told our love is not "real" and if we come out of the closet we're just going through a phase and because lesbian and gay history is virtually absent from literature and because homophobia is sanctioned by the Supreme Court and...for lots and lots of other reasons I AM PART OF THE LESBIAN AND GAY CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT.
Taken from a magnet on our refrigerator.
Taken from a magnet on our refrigerator.